I blame the parents…

Daughter (who shall remain nameless): Where’s Daddy tonight?

Me: Aberdeen

Daughter: (who needs to remain nameless) Oh that’s in Germany isn’t it?

Me: ??????? No, darling …

Daughter: Oh of course, silly me, I meant Amsterdam is in Germany.

Me: !!!!!!! No poppet – Aberdeen is in Scotland and Amsterdam is in Holland.

Daughter (who really shall remain nameless): No mummy you’re just saying that so I look stupid!

Me: No, seriously, darling, you’re doing a really grand job of that yourself

… just saying!