Oh to be Bored …

 

 

Oh … can you imagine? I dream of it … lust after it … crave it, even … but it’s nowhere in sight … not even hiding around the corner … it has gone … deserted me … definitely left me for someone else … and I don’t blame it really … I used to hate being bored … hours upon hours of boredom … wanting to fill it with anything other than boredom … but now … a whole different bloody story … I went and had three children … boredom certainly did a pronto disappearing act … it was never going to hang around for much longer after so much rejection was it?

I admit, I wouldn’t want boredom for long (oh OK maybe I would but I’d sound ridiculously dull if I admitted that) … I’d probably get bored of it (again let’s not dwell on this for too long because I can feel I’m close to changing my mind) … but just to have some time to actually think about what I’d like to do … actually … damn it …. just some time to think would be good … don’t care what it’s about … just free, careless, mindless thought … to actually be able to finish a thought process … whilst twiddling my thumbs, perhaps … if I felt the need to do so … I could even close my eyes whilst having a thought, finishing the process and twiddle my thumbs all at the same time … whilst feeling bored …

Oo … I could even have a glass of wine … or two … oh sod it … the bottle … that would keep my thumbs from twiddling … if they wanted to stop that is … they could do what they want in this state of boredness … I wouldn’t care … absolutely. nothing. else. to. do!

I could read … once my mind had finished thinking and had perhaps got bored of thinking … oh my word … can you imagine? All that boredom hanging around you, creeping into every part of your being … sublime … chilled … wow I’m hypnotising myself into a state of believing this could actually happen … I think I’ll just keep writing …

… Oh but I can’t … there’s the doorbell with one of the three children arriving back home and the three dogs yap yap yapping to tell me they’re home just in case I didn’t hear the very loud doorbell that they rang 15 times as they forgot their key …

… Oh and there’s the washing machine beeping at me for the 100th bloody time to tell me it’s finished washing – oh well done you washing machine but I heard you the first time, funnily enough … your piercing loud alarm sound penetrating through every word I’ve been trying to write for the last half hour … and … of course … no one else in the house hears you and thinks to turn you off … don’t be so ridiculous … in fact, I think you’ve been wired so that I am the only one to hear you …

… Oh and there’s the dulcet tones of my three gorgeous children announcing that they are hungry and is dinner nearly ready? Nearly bloody ready? Really? Can’t anyone else cook dinner for once? Of course it’s not ready … I’ve been trying to be beautifully, deliciously, gorgeously bored … just saying!

The Secret Diary of Agent Spitback

28 thoughts on “Oh to be Bored …

  1. Ha ha, I secretly enjoy being woken at night with a “mummy” call just to enjoy the boredom of phone browsing while I go back to sleep…nothing beeps me in the night until the next “mummy” call!

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  2. The internet ate my first comment!

    I love this ode to boredom…I do find a new sort of boredom now though in things like the beeping of white goods (who ever thought that was a good idea!?) and repetitive storytelling. Agree, would definitely like a bit of finger twiddling, wine drinking, staring into space boredom! #familyfun

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  3. Gosh way back in the single days when I only had to go to work and come home I can remember feeling bored. Oh to be bored again… My house is constantly full of not only my kids but other peoples. You’d think it was fun here or something??? Perhaps if I start being mean mummy they may leave… TY for linking up with #FamilyFun 🌸

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  4. I always wondered what I used to do with my spare time before having children! Not a couple of hours spare but even 5 minutes.
    I quite like doing the night feed just so I can catch up with Facebook and Instagram on my phone! #passthesauce

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  5. You know I adore your writing style! I feel like I am following a single stream of consciousness. I am glad that you were thinking of boredom and decided to write about being bored or craving to be bored. But the lesson here, my dear, is that we have approximately five seconds to feel bored and then it’s over. That is life of a Mama, try again when the last kid is booted out of the house. Thanks for linking with #PasstheSauce

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  6. Oh my gosh- love this! I’m sitting here laughing my butt off reading this as my 5 yo literally is saying, “Mom, I’m soooo bored.” While being surrounded my millions of toys. What I wouldn’t give for those lovely hours of boredom back…aaahhhh…
    #passthesauce 😀

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  7. Oh, amazing. I’m sitting in front of the Twirlywoos, a pile of (clean but unfolded) washing, a gnawing baby and a toddler who thinks her arm is falling off. Only the Twirlywoos don’t need me, so I am concentrating on them. And my computer. Denial is the way forward often, I find 🙂 Brilliant post – hope you get some boredom soon! #passthesauce

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