“But Mum is There Wi-Fi?”

So, having just got back from the most beautiful holiday destination, I’ve been bombarded with more “Did you have a nice holiday?” than I can handle … I don’t mean to sound quite so harsh and ungrateful … but as much as I want to say “Oh it was gorgeous. Just so nice to spend time with the children and be together as a family, away from everything” well, I’d be lying … because, quite frankly, I can quite honestly say that I’d rather have spent the money on a Chanel Bag!

Now before you gasp, thinking how ungrateful I am and how others would be far more deserving of such a beautiful holiday than me, let me explain … do you have teenagers? … Hmmm … I could just leave the rest of the article blank … enough said … but I won’t … I could try a different tack and ask … have you ever tried to tear a teenager away from Wi-Fi?

If the answer is no to either of these questions then you are very lucky, trust me, and you’ll be secretly glad that you only have toddler tantrums and sleepless nights to worry about … now, if you don’t believe me, I have absolute confidence that one day you will so am happy to take the flack for such a response. However, if you answer yes then I can only sympathise and offer virtual wine and chocolate by the bucket load … come join me lovely … let’s sob together!

So … my view on choosing a Chanel bag over the beautiful family holiday is based purely on the fact that:

A Chanel bag wouldn’t spend the entire time trying to find the Wi-Fi spots even if that meant hanging precariously over the edge of a balcony or sitting just outside the toilets instead of laying by the pool … toilets? pool? clearly the pool is overrated!

A Chanel bag wouldn’t grump when mum took all phones away at dinner and suggested that instead of staring at the screen they might actually want to have a … wait for it … face to face conversation.

A Chanel bag wouldn’t be constantly pouting and taking selfies and acting like they were an extra in some bloody MTV music video … though, I admit, the Chanel bag would look pretty awesome in an MTV video.

A Chanel bag wouldn’t spend the entire conversation pretending not to glance at the phone to see if someone has text, snapchatted, commented on said selfie, liked a photo, added a photo, uploaded a video etc, etc.

A Chanel bag wouldn’t end up with a phone-shaped tan line on their torso.

A Chanel bag wouldn’t spend the entire time with you talking to the top of their heads as they carried on bent over their phone … I think you, perhaps, may be gradually getting my point … a Chanel bag would be quite exquisitely perfect at all times!

So, did I really find the holiday that relentless? Was it really such a struggle holidaying with the teens? No, of course not, but just sometimes kids it would be great if you put the Β£$%*Β£!@ things down … just saying!

The Secret Diary of Agent Spitback
Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

91 thoughts on ““But Mum is There Wi-Fi?”

  1. guilty! Last year when we went on holiday my husband was moaning at me for checking my phone, But to be fair I only spent 30 minutes a day checking and going through my emails, just incase I got an important blogging opportunity. #KCACOLS

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  2. Another brilliant post Helen. I don’t have teenagers yet but have been a teacher of teenagers for a very long time and I remember situations such as the ones you mention everyone we went on a long residential trip somewhere beautiful and with lots to do! Channel sounds fab but them we would miss reading you adventures with the teens πŸ˜‰ X

    #KCACOLS

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  3. Ha ha. I think my parents will make the most of holidaying with me when I’m a tiny tot because I will be just as disengaged in a few years πŸ˜‰ x #KCACOLS

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  4. Haha I can well imagine this, although (mostly) we didn’t have smartphones when I was a teenager we did text a lot so I think I was guilty of this even then!! And I’m bad with my phone now I have to make a conscious effort to put it away. When we went camping last year my 33 year old older sister and 15 year old niece were both equally horrified at the lack of wifi! πŸ˜‚ #KCACOLS

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    1. t’s like the worst case scenario – holiday and no Wi-Fi – secretly I found it tough too not to keep in touch – terrible we can’t switch off entirely! Thank you so much for commenting lovely x

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  5. Haha this is so true! I have a twelve year old and all he cares about is his bloody phone!! When his friends come over the first thing they ask for is the Wi-Fi password!!! We are away this summer and there is no Wi-Fi….god help me!!! #KCACOLS

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      1. Haha they do have wifi if you pay extra (going down to Devon) but I refuse to pay for him to sit on his phone each night, it won’t kill him to have a conversation….will it?!!! xx

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  6. Ha ha!! My children are 5 and 9 and already WiFi obsessed. My son has been a strop today as I made him go outside instead of playing a stupid game on my phone. Give me Strength for the teenage years 😊 x #kcacols lifeinthemumslane

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  7. You nailed vacationing with a teen perfectly! The only time mine gets off his phone i when we go camping, because there is no wifi, anywhere, heck we have to drive half an hour to get cell signal. It’s lovely the first few days, then you want to throw the phone back at them lmao! #KCACOLS

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  8. I know I sound old when I say that this wasn’t an issue when I was a teen (which was only 10 years ago). Its such a shame how reliant kids are to their technology (that being said, I stopped typing this mid sentence because my phone went off) Thanks for sharing #KCACOLS

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    1. I agree – seems to have taken over their life but you make me giggle because I love my phone too – we are all addicted but the only difference is that I haven’t got my parents telling me to put it down – thank goodness! Thank you so much for commenting x

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  9. Ha!!! Phone shaped tan line!!! Corker. Unfortunately, I kinda understand their pain. Having just come off nearly 5 weeks without wi-fi, I can fully relate. Did.my.head.in!! But; totally annoying for you on a family holiday! #bigpinklink

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  10. oh gosh you made me giggle, but I am just at the beginning of this life. With Aspen now only 3 weeks off turning 12 and 6 months off high school I feel it coming! All my kids (aged 11, 9 and 6) already are so into their gadgets, but we are still surviving some holidays without it. When we were in Tasmania in January we had 3 days of no wifi, it was hard for the parents too! But it was so lovely, we actually went on amazing walks and the kids played happily (amazing). But I know we are soon to enter a whole new phase. The bag sounds wonderful! #bigpinklink

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    1. Oh you’re so right – it really is just as hard for the parents too at times but it’s good for all of us to have a little bit of a detox! And you’re right – the the children put the phones down they actually start enjoying each other’s company again! Tasmania sounds amazing! Thank you so much for reading and commenting x

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  11. Tell it like it is, SisterπŸ˜‚ We’ve made it a family thing now that we go hiking…every weekend. It was tough going to start with…the backlash was torture…but they have now resigned themselves to the fact that, until they are of age. they will be humouring their mother up the mountain. At least I’m guaranteed some ‘face time’ for a couple of hours. Great piece! #bigpinklink

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    1. Oh what a fantastic idea you brave woman you – in awe of your strength! Joking aside, what a fabulous idea! Love the twist on face time – enjoy! Thank you so much for reading and commenting x

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  12. Do they blog? They’d fit right in!! Oh dear I’ve all this to come. Do your children read this? I hope so, maybe they could find you a Chanel bag one day and all those screen faces would be worth it!! #bigpinklink

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    1. ha ha – so funny – they would wouldn’t they? – I’m being so ‘one rule for them one rule for me’ at the moment – and thank goodness my parents aren’t telling me to get off the phone! My poor kids! Thank you so much for commenting lovely x

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    1. cruel but very funny – I’ve written post this week about how they enter a tunnel at 13 and come out at 18 all different shaped! Those damn teen years! Thank you so much for commenting x

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  13. Oh this is a post that I need to read. I moan a lot about my life but actually, I’m lucky that my two are tiny and still want to play with me when we go on holiday and come into bed for a cuddle in the mornings. Thinking about them growing up makes me so sad but I’m sure it’s not all bad! I only seem to write about the worst bits of motherhood, I think I need to change that. Thanks for linking up and helping me appreciate my two’s ‘little-ness’ a bit more. #bigpinklink (I really hope that doesn’t sound like I’m rubbing it in that mine are small still, I don’t mean to.)

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    1. aww I do know what you’re saying – but to be honest my 3 are just the best and I am so so proud of them it’s crazy but I just guess that if I write about how wonderful they’ve been and all their achievements no one is really going to want to read that so for humour purposes I muck around with the typical teenage behaviour and have a little tongue in cheek rant. I popped a photo on IG today of when they were little – literally made me cry – just goes too quick so enjoy, enjoy, enjoy and I promise all stages are great and it’s amazing to go watch my 3 doing whatever they are doing – I wouldn’t change it for the world – would just like to slow it down a little! Thank you foresting a fab fab link – one of my absolute faves! X

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  14. Oh God Helen I’m with you. My hubby felt sorry for our eldest (11) who’s been having a hard time at Middle School with cliquey girls and let her have a phone at Christmas. I’m not happy. What IS it with this generation?! She must have changed her profile pic/wallpaper God knows what else a million times. We are able to police it however. Not allowed at table and it stays downstairs when she goes up to bed at 7.30.

    I do feel for you but I’m sorry I DID laugh. “I could just leave the rest of the article blank” lmao! And the tan line on the torso. And yes a Chanel bag would look good on MTV. Priceless.

    Another fab post. Thanks for linking to #passthesauce So glad I found your blog this year.

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    1. Oh I’m sorry to hear that about your daughter – girls can be so cruel – funnily enough I went through the same with my middle girl at 12 – broke my heart – I really hope it passes soon xx But yes the number of selfies are craaaaazy and I’m sorry to say it only gets worse – I’m in the thick of it at the moment – arghhhhhh! Aww thank you for your kind words – glad to have found your’s too mwah!

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  15. Just had a flash forward to 15 years from now. I wonder if they’ll have invented something that’s implanted in their hands before then, so I won’t be able to confiscate before meal times. Hmm. The ponders of modern technology ..! Hope you get a Chanel bag too lovely; you deserve it! #stayclassy

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  16. Haha that’s brilliant. My partner has a 14 year old girl so I can totally relate. That being said I don’t know what’s worse being surgically attached to the phone or the sulky sullen the world is about to end face and attitude you get if God forbid there is no wi-if! #familyfun

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  17. we went through this with the teenager last summer. We got a nice cottage on the beach for a week and the first few days all she did was complain about the wi fi not working. They certainly do come with their own set of challenges/annoyances

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    1. Oh don’t they just! I think we have to try to find a solution that works for all though as my constant moaning is not the way forward for forming good relationships with my teens! Thank you so much for your comment.

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  18. A Chanel bag wouldn’t end up with a phone-shaped tan line on their torso. MWAHAHA. I literally made my little boy jump with my belly laugh. Hes currently playing transformers on my phone..dear got I can only imaging what it will be like in 10 years time when he is on his Iphone 13…you totally deserve a Chanel bag for managing them…infact take it from their uni fund. They wont mind. Love the way you write as always #stayclassy (you already are) xxxxx

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  19. Kids and their phones, eh? I mean, I like my phone, and I’m pretty attached to the internet, but sometimes it’s nice to switch off, especially on holiday. Luckily the only phone the Popple has is made by Fisher Price. #StayClassy

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    1. oh but books are brilliant – i’d do anything for my children to actually read! I loved reading and still do though this blogging gets right on the way! Thank you for commenting lovely xx

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  20. Haha I am already there and I don’t have a teenager yet! Our recent holiday went mum can I have your phone. Mum can you get on the wifi, mum don’t talk to me im texting (her cousin who was in the same room!!) I feel your pain #kcacols

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  21. Hold up…did they really have a phone shaped tan on their torso??? Hahahah damn kids and their phones. Although I have to admit I am on my phone waaaaay too much, I think we all need a digital detox every once in a while. I was considering doing this every Sunday (however this hasn’t happened yet…). Anyway, go grab that Chanel bag to make up for the holiday!! Lol thanks for linking up with #StayClassy!

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    1. well …. maybe I exaggerated a tad – but they could have done! The thing is I love my phone waaaay too much but hey I’m not going to admit that fro then kids! Hmm good luck with the detox – let me know how it goes! Thank you for having me on a fab linky and thank you for hosting!

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  22. Haha, I think next time I go on holiday it will be me who’s surgically attached to their phone! I constantly worry that I must be setting Piglet a terrible example, as I seem to spend literally every spare minute tweeting. What has become of me? And what has become of the future of the world? Glad the holiday was good, phones aside, though! Thanks for linking up to #StayClassy

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  23. This is brilliant! I have a 17 year old sister so I hear you. Very, very funny. Ah, a Chanel bag, wouldn’t it be lovely…! #familyfun

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  24. haha love it!! I would rather have a Chanel bag too instead of holidaying with 2 teenagers!! LOL My girls are still little, almost 6 years old the eldest and 21 months the youngest but I have a 14 year old niece and I hear my sister complaining all the time. So I know how hard they can be sometimes. The thing is that we are like that too well at least I am LOL glued to my phone and desperately for getting wifi!! LOL I’m just scared to think how it will be the teenage years here!! I know for sure that I’m not looking forward to it yet!! Thanks so much for sharing this at #KCACOLS. I absolutely love having you here. You are the exact example of what this linky needs. You have commented a lot and I really appreciate that!! I hope to see you again tomorrow, πŸ™‚ xx

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    1. Oh Franca thank you so much for such a gorgeous comment. I was so pleased to have finally linked with #KCACOL and I am super excited about linking my latest blog tomorrow and reading and commenting and being all inspired again by such a great group of bloggers – throughly enjoyed myself on your linky last Sunday – you’ve developed a linky for what it should be and really only people who want to read and comment should join – so many linkys where people post and go so it was so refreshing to see that yours was so supportive and welcoming! Hope you’re having a great day xx

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  25. I hear you! I hear you loud and clear! We had a holiday in January with our two teens in January… enough said. Everything you said, I suffered too. I think I am going to take your advice and get me a new MacBook instead the next time. Another absolutely stunning post. I’m not only just saying that but I have subscribed too.

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    1. Oh doesn’t it just really really get to you?! I think they thought I was the worst mother but i’d really had enough – perched outside the flipping toilets instead of enjoying the holiday – really???! You get that Macbook lovely. And thank you so much for your kind words – it really does mean a lot xx

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  26. Love your post as it is very real…you are saying it as is…my toddler already hogs my phone so I can relate to you on holiday with busy tech teens…they get so caught up in the gadgets everything is passing them by…keep up the good work

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  27. We have holiday gites in France, and whenever our guests find out we have WiFi they are so relieved – a week without teenagers sulking and begging to go out so they can check their phones! Every parent will identify with your post, I’m sure!

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  28. Oh dear! Holidays with teens definitely are trying! You should try being really cruel and ‘only’ taking them to Cornwall. We are the worst parents in the world for doing that!
    I find that taking nice photos of the kids helps me forget that it was hard work and I look back and only remember what was in the photos! It makes me want to go on holiday all over again!

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    1. Inspired idea – though mine are at that posing for an MTV video stage so not nice photos! But I like your sentiment and perhaps I should take photos of when they aren’t looking – oh hang on that won’t be difficult because they’ll be too busy on their phones to be looking! Thank you for commenting x

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  29. I am moving towards this stage fast with the eldest being 10! I’ve already vowed to ban the phones at the dinner table especially if we are out! The thing is that since I’ve been blogging (only a few months), I’m constantly checking my phone! Better do as I say before they start telling me!! xx #BlogStars

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