“But Mum is There Wi-Fi?”

So, having just got back from the most beautiful holiday destination, I’ve been bombarded with more “Did you have a nice holiday?” than I can handle … I don’t mean to sound quite so harsh and ungrateful … but as much as I want to say “Oh it was gorgeous. Just so nice to spend time with the children and be together as a family, away from everything” well, I’d be lying … because, quite frankly, I can quite honestly say that I’d rather have spent the money on a Chanel Bag!

Now before you gasp, thinking how ungrateful I am and how others would be far more deserving of such a beautiful holiday than me, let me explain … do you have teenagers? … Hmmm … I could just leave the rest of the article blank … enough said … but I won’t … I could try a different tack and ask … have you ever tried to tear a teenager away from Wi-Fi?

If the answer is no to either of these questions then you are very lucky, trust me, and you’ll be secretly glad that you only have toddler tantrums and sleepless nights to worry about … now, if you don’t believe me, I have absolute confidence that one day you will so am happy to take the flack for such a response. However, if you answer yes then I can only sympathise and offer virtual wine and chocolate by the bucket load … come join me lovely … let’s sob together!

So … my view on choosing a Chanel bag over the beautiful family holiday is based purely on the fact that:

A Chanel bag wouldn’t spend the entire time trying to find the Wi-Fi spots even if that meant hanging precariously over the edge of a balcony or sitting just outside the toilets instead of laying by the pool … toilets? pool? clearly the pool is overrated!

A Chanel bag wouldn’t grump when mum took all phones away at dinner and suggested that instead of staring at the screen they might actually want to have a … wait for it … face to face conversation.

A Chanel bag wouldn’t be constantly pouting and taking selfies and acting like they were an extra in some bloody MTV music video … though, I admit, the Chanel bag would look pretty awesome in an MTV video.

A Chanel bag wouldn’t spend the entire conversation pretending not to glance at the phone to see if someone has text, snapchatted, commented on said selfie, liked a photo, added a photo, uploaded a video etc, etc.

A Chanel bag wouldn’t end up with a phone-shaped tan line on their torso.

A Chanel bag wouldn’t spend the entire time with you talking to the top of their heads as they carried on bent over their phone … I think you, perhaps, may be gradually getting my point … a Chanel bag would be quite exquisitely perfect at all times!

So, did I really find the holiday that relentless? Was it really such a struggle holidaying with the teens? No, of course not, but just sometimes kids it would be great if you put the £$%*£!@ things down … just saying!