Please Leave my Husband Alone …

I appreciate that this is quite a strong title and probably conjures up all kinds of thoughts in your head about my husband … or more to the point the person not leaving my husband alone!  Worry not, he isn’t having an affair … well, not to my knowledge … but I don’t like to take my marriage for granted … and, quite honestly, I really hope that there isn’t anyone out there whom I need to shout that title out to very loudly … because, trust me, I would … MOVE AWAY FROM MY HUSBAND, MOVE AWAY!

Anyway, I’ve read a couple of articles recently that got me thinking. Blogger @snotonmyjumper wrote a post for @Meetothermums recently entitled ‘To The Partner Of The Commuter’ where she praises the hard work of the mummy at home all day whilst her partner is out for 9-10 hours a day … it is hard and it is exhausting and you probably could be excused for looking somewhat frazzled and less than glamorous when the other half walks through the door (Oh come on, surely it’s not just me is it?!).

Taking this thought a little further, I read another article by Lyz Lenz entitled ‘The Emotional Weight of Being a Wife’ for Marie Claire April 2016 where she looks at why the focus is primarily on the wife in the relationship to put in more effort to make the marriage work. She even mentions that a friend was advised to pop on some make up, wear nicer clothes and cook her husband a hot dinner for when he gets home … now before I spit my coffee out all over this view … really?! I must point out here that the article wasn’t in support of this but what a point to get the backs up of every mummy out there in one fail swoop!

Now, I agree, in an ideal world I’d like to look my best when my husband walks through the door. I’d like the kids immaculate and the house perfect but … really … is that the only thing that is going to hold my marriage together? I’m going to hazard a guess here and say probably not … and I bloody hope not!

However, the contrast between the mummy at home and those girls who our husband’s spend most of their time with at work is huge. Now, I’m hoping that I don’t have to view these women as competition … I don’t think I’d win that one in the turned out category … but what I’d really like to say to all of those young girls at work, not married, no kids, reapplying your lipstick before popping out for drinks in the city after work in your expensive heels and beautiful clothes that your salary allows you to spend on you, just you, you, you (no I’m not bitter – can you tell?) and your uncreased brows, and your immaculate nails, your lack of headaches and your toned non-tired bodies … spare a thought that one day you’ll hopefully be married with a beautiful family … flirt with the single guys, not the married ones … give us mums at home a break … just saying.

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday
Diary of an imperfect mum
Pink Pear Bear
The Secret Diary of Agent Spitback
Mummuddlingthrough

 

121 thoughts on “Please Leave my Husband Alone …

  1. Why is the onus always on the women? Is it because she is traditionally thought of as a home maker and therefore, need to work on the relationship more? I think this stereotypical assumption applies to working mothers as well, to make the home “work” even if they work as much as their partners. As for single ladies, once the first flush of romance is over, they will realise that everything goes back to being the same, yes, everyone goes back to wearing their faded old pjs and married men do wear hole-y underwear too! Thanks for linking with #PasstheSauce

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  2. Wow, look at all the comments! needless to say this post is definitely one that’s got everyone thinking (worrying?!) I am – about the state I am in when my hubby gets home…that said though, he probably feels worried when I go out all glammed up with the girls – so really it’s not a question of roles and genders, just knowing you married a hottie 🙂
    Thankfully, I trust my hubby 100%, but part of me thinks bet all women think that! And men! Who knows, just let them know you love them, that’s all you can do.
    Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub

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  3. Wow! Hot topic or what… I almost couldn’t find the comment box to write you a little something myself. It hadn’t crossed my mind before, I think because somehow since having Little Button my husband is even more dedicated to our family. His idea of an awesome night is staying in running round the house in pjs playing hide and seek or you’re it! He’s a big kid at heart. Shame on those young ladies flirting with married men… tut tut 😮 #FamilyFun

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    1. Well that’s just a perfect night in! This post has certainly touched a nerve with many so I thunk I perhaps need to have a further explore in to the subject at some point! Thank you so much for your comment x

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I think it is so important to spend time with hubby and make time with them just the 2 of you. I am guilty of that…and actually didn’t even think about him spending days with the ladies at work and coming home to me in my pjs…. #coolmumclub

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  5. I love this post! I actually get quite anxious about it all, my husband works in the catering trade amongst a whole load of younger, more put together women, that still see the fun in everything without the stresses of life with children, mortgages and so on. I was once one of ‘those’ girls, and I know what I was like. Luckily (i think/hope) he is a very loyal person and whilst he may be a little inappropriate sometimes with the things he says he knows at the end of the day there’s always steak at home! 😉 sorry I’m late commenting on last weeks #KCACOLS xx

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    1. Aww please don’t overthink it – it definitely has touched a nerve this post and that’s really funny as my husband always says the same about steak! Thank you for reading and commenting xx

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  6. Lol my hubby is lucky these days if he finds I’ve showered every day, let alone actually looking decent! But we have love, friendship and two awesome kids so if that turned out not to be enough to prevent him straying then he wouldn’t be worth keeping anyway 😉
    #coolmumclub

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  7. Every relationship is different. As a stay at home dad, my experience is that I have to make a greater effort. As for having the house immaculate etc for when my wife walks through the door…ha ha ha ha ha! Ain’t gonna happen and I ain’t gonna make any effort to make it happen either.

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  8. All the feels here. Full-on envy of the people with money to spend on themselves doing fun stuff.

    As a stay-at-home Dad, I get frustrated enough with my other half ‘popping out for drinks after work’ occasionally without having to worry about her flirting with colleagues. (Not that I would anyway.) It’s been a long time since I got remotely dressed up – I don’t even think I’ve got a dressy outfit left, though I’ve always been something of a scruff. I had a complete panic a year or two ago when my wife was bringing someone home from work for tea unexpectedly: I felt like a housewife in a 70s sitcom. However, I do sometimes get a bit carried away and clean the house up properly, and I feel like showing it off when OH gets home.

    Oh, I used to have such dreams!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh I’m so thrilled to have some SAHD views to this post – thank you so much – it’s really inspired another post that I’m writing at the moment – I was so shocked that it’s not just the mums that feel like this. Thank you so much for reading and commenting – really means a lot!

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