“But You’ll Look Like A Mum!”

What????? All I said was I quite fancied getting my hair cut into an ultra cool bleached blonde bob, a bit like Angelina Jolie (yep I admit, I have a bit of a thing for her) rocked once … and I was met with horrified statements from my girls of “but you’ll look like a mum!” My son, who is less outspoken, as he has learnt to be in a house with two big sisters, just simply shook his head … which I took to mean a big fat no also and an agreement with his sisters.

Now, I’m a little concerned as I’ve been ticking along for the last, let me think … SIXTEEN YEARS … thinking I was a mum. Three Kids … check. Ranting and moaning at three small humans in the house … check. A severe lack of lie-ins … check. Weekends definitely dominated by kids activities and less romantic getaways … check. Money definitely spent on kid stuff and less Chanel items (reference to an earlier post) … check. Not drinking on a Saturday night as have to pick kids up … check (OK that’s mainly left to the husband … I’ve tried but it’s very hard). Would say three small humans calling me mum … check … but they’ve taken to using my name … hmmm … very uncheck!

OK, let’s look at this a little differently … if I wasn’t a mum, would I choose, by choice, actually ever even want to stand in a school playground? … Oh, come on, by actual real life choice? … Yep I’m definitely a mum. If I wasn’t a mum would I have other people’s kids over … really? You would? … Yep, still very much a mum. Go on holiday during the actual school holidays? … Yep … spot the mum. Lie on the sun drenched deck of a beautiful yacht in the Caribbean in a tiny bikini draped on my long elegant brown limbs, soaking up the rays as my husband passes me my fifth raspberry daiquiri of the afternoon … what??? Oh yes, wrong person … wrong life … definitely not a mum … my wannabe psyche playing with me … oh, but can you imagine? I can almost feel the sun on my skin … hear the water lapping at the side of the boat … see the sun glistening on the water … and the peace? … can you hear it? Bliss … but, alas, not a mum … she doesn’t even look like a mum.

Hmm … it feels wrong to give you a quick snapshot comparison here with the actual perceived mum type but let’s just say I don’t think this woman would ever be screeching “IT’S TEN PAST BLOODY SEVEN WHY AREN’T YOU EVEN BLOODY DRESSED YET?” She’s probably got staff, to be fair.

So, why the shock, horror statement from my children about looking like a mum? Can’t we look glam and gorgeous as a mum like the woman on the boat? Can’t we have it both – be a mum and look like a mum but let that be a positive? Do women, by the sheer virtue of having a child, look like a mum and, therefore, forever after, Β be seen negatively in terms of style? Can’t we change that? Can’t we go and rock it and kick that perception. I’m all over this argument … I want to look like a mum … I’m super proud of being my kids’ mum … so why can’t I own that bob? … Β wear it with a bit of sass and knock that ‘look like a mum’ negative vibe right back down where it belongs … who’s with me? … just saying.

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday
Pink Pear Bear

75 thoughts on ““But You’ll Look Like A Mum!”

    1. Ha ha! Though a pupil of mine said that probably best to cut my hair shorter as when a gran it will be harder to brush – I didn’t quite know hoe to respond – do I look close to being a gran??? xx

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  1. Ha ha, love it! Maybe you should adopt a horrified expression and deliver a “but you’ll look like a teenager” to all their requests for new stuff and see what happens!

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  2. Ha ha! I am not sure why that would make you ‘look like a mum’ but that’s because I am too distracted pretending I am the one lying on a boat just off the coast of the south of France with the sun warming my glowing skin… it is good to dream after all!!

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  3. Hahaha!! So true, I’ve been told I look more like a mum because (insert reason here) and on the flip side, when I dyed my hair pink, I was told that it was very immature and unmumsy and I should think about doing something so drastic in the future, so I don’t get perceived as a bad mum. Nice.
    Totally with you on this one!

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  4. Haha, this made me laugh. What does a mum look like and why is that so bad. We are mums and we should be proud, let’s rock looking like a mum. However, unlike yourself I am not stylish mum I am going through mumsy mum πŸ˜‰

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  5. It’s funny isn’t it, remember the term ‘Mum Jeans’? I think it’s great how these days us mums are rocking whatever the hell look we want where our own parent’s would have been sentenced to a life dressed head to toe in BHS. You go for it, you’ll look gorgeous! #fortheloveofBLOG

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  6. Love it! I’m not entirely sure what look exactly is the “mum” look – unless it’s scruffy leggings and tops with various stains which seems to be my day-to-day mum look. I don’t see why being a mum has to mean you can’t be glam too though! πŸ™‚

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  7. This is really interesting to read, I have a 5 month old and have had bad post partum hair shedding, so took the plunge this week to cut all my hair off into a pixie crop! I was a bit worried I would look like a boy, or a frumpy mum, but the hair dresser did an awesome job and I love it!x

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  8. I’m proud to look like a mum, even if it means that I have bags under my eyes, a messy bun and food stains on my top. Granted, there are lots of ‘yummy mummies’ (as much as I hate that phrase) who manage to look after small people AND look glamorous. I have no idea how they manage it, but hats off to them! I’ll be over here rocking my jeggings. #fortheloveofBLOG

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  9. Right there with you! I refuse to think that I look like a mum though; I look like me with two kids and far less fucks to give what anyone else thinks ;). There’s a really cool Instagram account called @dresslikeamun. You might like it if you haven’t already seen it :). #fortheloveofBLOG

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  10. Sod the kids, you go for the blonde bob. My daughter at not even 8 tells me her opinion on clothes I pick out, whether I ask for it or not. The most recent being me trying on a too and her saying “I can’t even look”. It was a gym vest for God’s sake! Bloody kids!! #kcacols

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    1. aww thank you! Love that ‘can’t even look’ saying – so funny – sounds like she spends time with my girls! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment x

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  11. I read the other day that ‘mums’ dress in converse and Breton tops – this is my entire wardrobe! I’m not sure why I should feel bad about that though – I flipping love converse and stripey tops and I’ll wear them if I want to! This was also my wardrobe before I became a mum, so I’m unsure why it’s now not ok. Seems as soon as you become a mum everyone wants to slate your fashion choices, however inoffensive they are! Who cares, let’s dress however we want and if that’s ‘mum style’ then we’ll rock it! #KCACOLS

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  12. I always laugh when I read what a mum should look like! I am a mum and yet I don’t have a bob, nor do I wear leggings with every outfit!! Granted, I am sat writing this in my dressing gown, wearing a messy bun, but still, its a Sunday, looking like a mum is allowed!! #KCACOLS

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  13. Go for the look you want! I have always hated how Moms are judged by look. So what if I dye my hair, does that make me less of a Mom? newsflash my hair color or length doesn’t stop the kids from expecting to be fed, clothed, and driven where ever they wish. If you love it that is what matters! #KCACOLS

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    1. Aww you are too kind! Mumsy – ouch! But … if we are to try and rock this thing we shouldn’t be thinking of mummy negatively either! go rock that mumsy title! Thank you for commenting lovely xx

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  14. I’m totally with you. I think you will look fab with a bob. You won’t just look like a mum, you will look like a very elegant and stylish yummy mum! I have a bob and I certainly hope I don’t just look like ‘a mum’… My kids are too young to say πŸ™‚ #bigpinklink

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  15. Definitely get the bob!!!! I also really hate this concept that once you’re a mum, you have to look and dress a certain way!! Why why why?!! My mum always dressed however she wanted-well, she still does actually! She wears all the latest fashions/really bright colours and patterns/always has hair and makeup on point, and carries it because she does it with confidence! She has got the figure to carry it off, but I’ve never thought she should be any different! SHE is always telling ME I need to be more adventurous with my clothes!!
    Thanks for sharing with #bigpinklink

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    1. aww thank you lovely! I just really struggle that there is a view that looking like a mum is a negative – hmmm who started that whole image of not being cool? They’ve a lot to answer to! My mum is also amazing looking and stylist – totally rocking and owning the mum look and nan look! thank you so much for commenting and for hosting one of my favourite linkys xx

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  16. YES. #OwnTheMumBob love it. Let’s make the Mum image cool, because it IS cool to be a Mum now-a-days. We aren’t the 1950s housewives of our past, we are the Ray-Ban wearing, bleach blonde Bob, leather jacket, and converse sneakers working (stay at home means working too) Mums. Thanks for sharing with #StayClassy!

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  17. I just had to ask my husband if I looked like a Mum, his first reply was yes, I asked him why, he said it’s because I have a baby with me. I asked if my leather jacket, black denim skirt and gazelle make me look like a Mum, he said no. A blonde bob would be cool, it definitely wouldn’t make you look like a Mum, you should go for it Helen. Thank you for joining us for a first week at #fortheloveofBLOG, be lovely to have you join the party next week. Claire x

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    1. and we should love the fact that we look like a mum – just can’t understand why it is viewed negatively sometimes! Love the new linky – well done lovely!! Will definitely be back next week xx

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  18. Haha! Very funny. I am not sure why they view a blond bob as a bad thing, or very mum-like though? I think y style has stayed exactly the same since becoming a mum…but then I have alwys gone my own way a bit and couldn’t really be called stylish, I don’t think! Thanks so much for linking up with #KCACOLS. I hope you come back again next Sunday.

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  19. Oh my God this so sums up what I’ve been feeling recently. Yesterday I went shopping and bought a rare item of clothing for me, only to get home and have my mother dissolve into laughter because I had bought a pair of trousers with an elasticated waist. #KCACOLS

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    1. oh no!!! you go rock that elasticated waist with a cool Tee and you’ll look fab!I just don’t like the negative connotations of looking like a mum! Thank you so much for commenting lovely x

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  20. aahh go and shock them! They’ll love it whatever I’m sure. It did make me smile how you worded the way your son just gently shook his head and that spoke volumes about the way he was feeling:)

    mainy – myrealfairy

    #KCACOLS

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  21. Agree 100% with this. I had trouble feeling and looking like a mum after bubba was born and always saw that as a bit negative – lately however I’ve been kicking those thought processes and getting back to a similar version of what I looked like before becoming a mum. It’s definitely not the same, but when I do make an effort I quite like it and I’m going to own it! Great post! #KCACOLS

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