Welcome to my new series … The Teenage Chronologues … a play on words of chronicling the monologue/dialogue of teens … a snapshot into their conversations … anywhere … any place … a real eye-opening insight into their life and chat … and sometimes a life education with a huge steep learning curve for me, as occurred in this post … am still blushing at my naivety and lack of being in touch with some expressions! OK, let’s start!
Ah, time in the car with teens, away from their insistence of barricading themselves in their rooms, away from their … wait for it … Netflix and chill sessions … which, OMG, I have just learnt does not actually mean watching Netflix and chilling … please tell me I’m not the only one who didn’t know this … I’m dying here as my teens would say … actually, they are dying as they can not believe I just popped that little ‘not so innocent’ expression into one of my blogs. Anyway, moving swiftly on, time in the car … yay, get them to myself for the duration of the journey … time for me and them … proper mum and daughter time … can’t wait, a real parenting treat … so, driving along with Bieber telling us he’s sorry or was it that his mum didn’t like someone? Can’t remember …
… and then this happens …
Me: Oh poppet how’s it going with the boyfriend? In a cool, relaxed, just dropping it into the convo kind of vibe.
Teen: Can you not (reaches to radio and turns up the volume).
Me: Oh but darling I’m only asking. Still in a Oh I’m not really that interested kind of tone.
Me: So you really like him? OK, so the tone is changing a little now
Teen: Muuuuuuum stop!
Me: Do you think he likes you poppet? I’m getting on my own nerves now
Me: Do your friends like him? I really do need to STOP
Me: Why don’t you invite him over at the weekend … One last final clutching at straws attempt at some converse with T2
Teen: OH MY GOD … NO MUM STOP! I did
So, this is kind of how conversations with my teens go about boyfriends … OK, I’m sure I was the same with my parents but I thought I was going to be the coolest of cool parents – where did it go wrong? Thought I’d be like Angelina and Brad … Victoria and David, even … the kind of parent that my kids would want to talk with … OK, I may have a warped sense of perspective about celeb parenting but you can just imagine Brooks wanting to chat to Becks about absolutely everything … I would … Oh, hang on, that’s an entirely different situation … I digress!
Cue daughter’s phone rings and then it’s all giggle, giggle, giggle … chat, chat, chat … so much damn chat suddenly … so much to say … so many words tumbling out to chat, chat, chat with her friend … no hint of ‘Can you not’ or ‘OH MY GOD STOP’ … it’s all ‘ha, ha, ha … you’re so cool to chat to’ … mum defunct, mum the taxi driver, mum getting in the way of listening to Bieber.
… OK, I’ll take the hint and get lost in my thoughts of talking to David about absolutely everything then … just saying.