“Don’t Be Sick On My Mum’s Chanels”

Apologies for the slightly crass title but, I kid you not, this was an actual line uttered by … wait for it … a 14-year-old girl at a party … apologies, not party, a gathering … I was at last weekend. But this title could easily have been ‘Vodka And 14-Year-Olds Do Not Mix’ or even ‘Who Knew Teens Could Be So Sneaky?’ but my favourite was the title “Don’t Be Sick On My Mum’s Chanel’s” and pretty much sums up what happened. However, I am still a little shell shocked by the whole event so what better way to deal with it than to write a blog?

Now, for anyone who is familiar with my posts, you will know that parties these days are called gatherings and most certainly involve alcohol, as recently demonstrated by Teen 2:

Teen 2: Mum, please can I have a gathering for my birthday?

Me: Of course, darling, as long as there is no alcohol.

Teen 2: Well, that’s not a gathering then so I won’t bother!

Me: Oh. OK.

So, as my daughter is only 14 years old and is well below the legal age of drinking she won’t have a gathering (her choice) as I won’t allow alcohol … and let me explain why … I’ve a feeling you’ll be on my side …

OK, so let’s cut to the scene … friend invites me to help at her daughter’s gathering, which my daughter is attending too, with 20 or so friends … boys and girls.

8pm: Girls arrive dressed up beautifully in heels and dresses … lots of giggling, gossip and innocent fun. This is going to be great!

8:30pm: Boys arrive … shy, awkward and a little uncomfortable. Girls now silent … posing and pouting in the corner … zero interaction … but it’ll happen so we will just carry on cheekily spying willing them to start mingling.

8:45pm Boys playing football in the garden … girls still posing and pouting in the corner … hmm this gathering could take a while to warm up!

9:00pm It starts to get a little dark and, phew, they start to mingle … we can relax a little … this will be fine … they will have fun!

9:30pm All parents called and asked to collect their children as neat vodka smuggled into the party in water bottles … kids vomiting, passing out … birthday girl sobbing … party categorically over!

Wow! Don’t they know how to have a good time? Who wouldn’t be encouraged by this and of course agree to their child having a gathering with alcohol? Teen 2 are you for real? OK, I may have exaggerated slightly – not everyone was drunk and not everyone was vomiting but there was a general theme running through a few of the guests so it was felt that perhaps the party should end before things got any worse and out of control.

Although I jest, it was really quite frightening for us as the adults … any trust gone for the few guests that had pushed the limits of acceptable behaviour and it makes me sad that these kids, who are so young, can’t mix socially without alcohol … we will ignore the fact that it would be the most boring gathering on the planet if I was invited to one which was non-alcoholic … but why the need for it so young? Why does my daughter (who knows my views on teen drinking) feel such peer pressure that she would rather not have a gathering than be embarrassed that she won’t be supplying alcohol if she was to have one?

I’m not going to back this post up with research highlighting why some teens feel the need because we were all young once and all saw kids drinking recklessly but as a parent it does make me contemplative  … so much excitement leading up to the evening … outfits planned, cool playlists compiled, trepidation and excitement about which boy likes which girl etc etc and then … boom … over within 30 minutes of the party actually starting …

… I don’t know what the way forward is because there have and always will be those teens that perhaps push those limits … but, more than anything, parents seriously need to talk to their young teens about the dangers of alcohol … don’t ignore it because apart from the fact there really is nothing funny about a 14-year-old girl sobbing about being sick on her Mum’s Chanel’s … they were good shoes … the teen years need to be fun … those gatherings need to last longer than 30 minutes … just saying!

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51 thoughts on ““Don’t Be Sick On My Mum’s Chanels”

  1. As a mum of a 16 year old I totally hear you on this one although my daughter has never been interested in drinking she often tell stories of what ‘hilarious’ thing this person or that person has done while drunk! Also since moving we have a park up the road from us and often witness drunk teens in the park at night while walking our dog, I would rather if (and it’s a big if) my child was drinking that they was at someone’s house than in a park somewhere

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    1. Thank you for you comment – I think alcohol is scary when you have teens that may be drinking and you just hope that some of your chats about it have gone in and they don’t do anything too dangerous – I agree about not being in the park too! Thank you for commenting xx

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  2. Oh yes, this is going to be a challenge…something I already think about (I think I overthink things!). I’ve always had a really good relationship with alcohol…I love it! No, I’m joking, what i mean I suppose is that I’ve always been relatively sensible – I just don’t like people acting out of control or me acting out of control. It scares me. But I know I’m unusual and can’t force that feeling on my children as a means of education. Any tips you do have for encouraging a healthy relationship with alcohol and teenagers do share! Sorry you had such a dramatic time last week…hope everyone was ok X

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    1. ha ha. I think what’s frightening is that these girls were 13 and 14 – so young and just seems younger than when we were experimenting. I don’t feel I have any useful tips other than keeping those lines of communication open as much as possible. Thank you for your comment lovely xx

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    1. Laura you’re right – it wasn’t 13! and I’m not talking a little bit tipsy – it was a really frightening situation for all that was witnessed and I can only hope that a lesson was learnt as harsh as it was. Thank you for your comment lovely xx

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  3. I have to echo the previous comment and say that this doesn’t surprise me – I also remember my own 14 year old parties being very similar and ending in quite similar ways, including the arrival of a police car… They are not my proudest moments and the thought of my children doing this now fills me with horror. But I do think that it is unfortunately the way society has shifted and that as parents all we can do is try and encourage responsible drinking (when this fails it will be holding hair out of the toilet) It’s a sad fact that for some reason teenagers seem unable to just enjoy themselves without needing vast quantities of alcohol… #triballove

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    1. Thank you Zoe – just to hold hair whilst someone is being sick is a good situation in this case – sadly this was a horrible lesson that these girls had to witness and hopefully it will put them off of drinking but not a nice way to learn! Thank you so much for commenting xx

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  4. Sounds like a nightmare. Love the title, but sad that what could have been a really lovely party ended so badly. I guess you won’t be hosting another one then! #tribal

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    1. Ha ha definitely not! You think you’ll be all cool with your kids but the reality is something entirely different! It wasn’t a pleasant situation to be in. Thank you for your comment lovely x

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  5. I got pretty blottoed a few times as a teenager, but not til I was 15/16…I don’t know what the attraction is really. My parents never told me about the dangers of getting drunk – but I saw them drunk plenty of times. Funnily enough I never connected it with how I might get – weird huh? #tribe

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      1. No that’s too young! I was playing monopoly and went bowling for my 13th birthday and felt really grown up! But I was in middle school, not high school. That never helps I’m sure.

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  6. This is a minefield isn’t it? One we are navigating at the moment too. My eldest went to her first ‘gathering’ at 15, having never been interested before. She had fun and yes, there was alcohol but she behaved herself and came home a bit livelier than normal but nothing too bad. I think they probably need to experience it at some point in their lives but every child is different. She’s not asked to go to any other such ‘gatherings’ and I didn’t think she would. Gosh it’s hard this parenting lark isn’t it?

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    1. Isn’t it just?! And 15 sounds like the age that I would expect most teens to start dabbling a little but I was so shocked that these girls were 13 and 14 – why the need to grow up so fast? Is being an adult that fab?! Thank you for your comment xx

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    1. Something has to change though doesn’t it? The stats for drinking related health issues is on the increase and kids as young as 13 and 14 think it’s great – too big an issue for one individual to change on their own but it does make you think. Thank you for your comment x

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  7. Goodness that is so young, I can’t imagine my youngest who is 13 even thinking about drinking now! My eldest didn’t really start on the party scene until he hit 16. We have been very clear with our views on him drinking and whilst he is definitely drinking, so far he hasn’t pushed the boundaries, but I think being passionate about sport has a lot to do with that. Once they start going to these “gatherings” it’s a constant worry. We can only guide them and hope they listen to our advice. Thanks for sharing this. #bigpinklink

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    1. I completely agree – far too young – it was such a shock! I think as parents we have to accept that at 16 they may start to have a drink but, like you, mine are engaged in activities where they know alcohol could be so damaging – positive enforced communication is the best way for sure. Thank you for your comment xx

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  8. Oh it is really sad isn’t it. I think *whispers* that it is a big problem in Jersey but no one will admit it. Being such a small island the teenagers get bored and they start experimenting in drink and drugs. There was a death on Jersey last year of a teenager through drugs and they had all been at a house party heavily drinking as well. I really believe that there needs to be more done on educating children about the dangers of drink and drugs and a couple of lessons in PSCHCE isn’t going to cut it but also it needs to be spoken about at home #bigpinklink

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    1. I can imagine and I think you’ve made a good point there – boredom and self worth have a huge part to play – those that do abuse tend to be the ones we aren’t so surprised about. How sad though for that group of teens to witness a friend dying – so sad. There is so much that needs to be done from a societal point of view and I am a big believer in positive messages coming from home too. Thank you for your comment lovely xx

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  9. Yes, this is most definitely a tough one! Of course, I’m totally out of touch with what teenagers are doing ‘these days,’ as its been a long time since I was one, and mine are toddlers! But I’ve had several conversations with friends recently where they’ve said ‘nightclubs are closing down because the teenagers don’t want to go out and drink anymore,’ and ‘it’s not cool to drink anymore, the teens of today are too concerned with their health and their weight.’ But this shows a different story… Apart from all the reasons you mentioned, like it being awful that 13 and 14 year olds feel the need to drink to socialise, how awful must you have felt having to phone parents and say their children were vomiting from alcohol consumption?? The actions of those smuggling it in have now negatively affected how the adults involved are seen, because they were ‘in charge.’ My parents offered me and my brother a glass of wine at home, occasionally, from around the age of 13, so this age. Sometimes I had it, and sometimes I didn’t, and they were always really honest about the dangers of drinking. By the time people in my year at school were getting trashed on white lightning in the park, I didn’t want to-I went to ‘normal’ school, but my main school was my dance school, and I always wanted to be focussed for training, so getting drunk in a park held no appeal to me. But maybe because alcohol had never been made taboo to me, could also have influenced that decision-if teenagers think they are being rebellious, the allure is increased, but if I’d told my parents I was going to the park to drink, they’d probably have said ‘don’t take white lightning dear, we’ll get you something better. Just be sensible.’ Maybe I was just a sensible teen-who knows!! I just hope my children can go the same way….!
    #bigpinklink

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    1. Oh thank you for your lovely comment! I think you make a brilliant point in that if a teen has another focus in life and then as a result some self worth then they are less likely to be the one getting wrecked on alcohol – sadly it isn’t a surprise with the groups that end up getting so drunk – I sympathise with them fully as they are at the end of the day only children – particularly at 13! Thank you for your comment xx

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  10. i love this post! This was definitely happening when I was a teenager and when my sister’s were too – my sisters went clubbing at age 14/15 without my parents knowledge!! Crazy. It definitely depends on the group of friends you have though as my friends and I were very boring haha. We had a friend whose parents were always away at weekends from the age of 14 so we would all just stay at his playing games and eating takeaways! I think that awkwardness is normal too and you may have found that even without alcohol they would have eventually started mingling – at least that’s what happened when we were younger! I can see why it wouldn’t have been nice for you though. #bigpinklink #triballove

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  11. Oh I so remember having the odd drink when I was 14/15 at parties (just to add my mum never knew) and looking back now it was just stupid! but, it WAS the done thing with my friends, and we all just got caught up in the peer pressure of it all, not to mention it was super easy to buy the alcohol! Thankfully my teen has not once mentioned having an alcoholic drink – Its not cool anymore (as someone said in a comment above) which suits me fine! Its a shame your friends childs ‘gathering’ was ruined, they should just be able to hang out and have fun, normal 14 year old fun that doesn’t include alcohol. It does happen though unfortunately – and you’ve further confirmed I should will not be letting my teen where my shoes lol! Ruined Chanel’s?! oh dear! #bigpinklink

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    1. Ha ha – i’m impressed you have Chanels – I don’t! I think we were just shocked that they were 13 and 14 – just seems too young! But hey, feeling like i’m losing a little grip on reality with this current teen group – have become very old very quickly! Thank you so much for reading and commenting xx

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  12. Oh my gosh I am not looking forward to the teenage years – I know we all done it but seriously I was 15/16 – at 13/14 I was still playing with dolls! Kids do seem to grow faster these days and it scares the hell out of me!

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    1. I think you’re so right – it just seems so young – that was the shock – maybe a little cheeky weak beer from dad’s fridge or an alcopop but not neat vodka! Thank you so much for commenting x

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  13. Oh dear. I clearly remember being 14 and being sick from vodka on one of the coolest girl’s mum’s conservatory sofa. Not a fine moment and you’re right – it is SO young. Not looking forward to it at all (and also remember neat vodka being the drink of choice as it was such a ‘quick’ hit). Thinking about it, I must have moved in some pretty dodgy circles! Good luck with the next few years – I’m sure your kids will handle it marvellously 🙂 #coolmumclub

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    1. Oh you rebel you! I was definitely more 16 – 13 and 14 seems so young! maybe i’m out of touch but it was horrid to witness and parent! Obvs mine are angels!! Thank you for commenting lovely xx

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  14. Shamefully I’ll admit I was one of those teens who probably thought she was cool smuggling alcohol or being the bad influence. In hindsight I needed an adult to sit me down and explain to me about alcohol and why what I was doing was wrong. Kids try to grow up and be an adult too quickly. I wish I could tell them to enjoy the life of just chilling with your mates, going to school and regular gossip instead of rushing into alcohol, work, tax and the rest! #bloggerclubuk

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  15. Oh goodness this brings back so many teenage memories. I attended many a party like that, although I don’t believe anyone wore Channel, mores the pity. Thus far life with our teen has been relatively drink free, we are informed she doesn’t really like the taste, uhuh yes of course…. But in all fairness the drinking does seem minimal on her part, I have heard some horrific stories of girls being passed out from too much voddy, and we all know the reprocussions that can come from that. So yes I agree wouldn’t it be lovely if teens could just be teens and enjoy their youth that little bit longer eh xx #bigpinklink #marvmondays

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    1. Oh you’re lucky – my girls aren’t too bad but it’s just a shock that some of their peers who are still 13 are starting so young – maybe I shouldn’t be so shocked but it was awful to see such tiny little things so messed up by it. Thank you for your comment lovely xx

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  16. I just realised that it’s been nearly 20 YEARS since I was 14 and am feeling pretty old right now – especially since I can relate more to the parents in this situation than the teens! I didn’t drink when I was that young because I was way too afraid of getting caught. I know it’s only natural for teens to want to experiment, but it’s a shame that they think that they need to have alcohol to have fun at such a young age. #ablogginggoodtime #triballove

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  17. Yikes! Scary thought that teens and pre-teens are starting to experiment with alcohol at such a young age. I totally agree that its sad that they feel obliged to drink at such a young age, although im sure its very much because its seen as a cool adult thing to do, and where theres peer pressure.. Parenting is such a challenge for us all but im sure speaking to our children about it is where it starts. Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Emily

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  18. It is really sad that teenagers feel the pressure to drink. This is a problem that has been around for a very long time and I remember being 14 and having a beer but somehow in Portugal teenagers relationship with drink never seemed as drastic as in the uk. I completely agree that parents need to have a more active role in educating their children to the dangers of alcohol but even more importantly in my view educate them on how to behave socially and lead by example. Great post.
    #ablogginggoodtime #triballove

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  19. When I think back to what we used to get up to at that age, it must be scary being the mum of a teenager! I have to say we were a bit more subtle than this though lol
    Thanks for linking up to #BloggerClubUK 🙂
    Debbie

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  20. This is brilliant and I think we have all this to come with my stepson who is now 12. As it stands, he thinks drunk behaviour is ridiculous and but we all know that will change soon enough! I can’t believe the gathering only lasted 30 minutes too….I agree, kids really need to be educated on alcohol. When I was younger, I remember my parents kept us well away from even a drop of alcohol so by the time I was 17, I was a bit of a nightmare. Such a great post xx #triballove #bigpinklink

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