Raising My Girls

OK, so for many of you who read my blog, you will be aware that, although I have two daughters and a son, it really is my teen girls who provide most of the material for my rants and 500 word rambles depicting motherhood of teenagers … but for today I’m writing from a slightly different perspective and giving you a snapshot into the life of being a mum to these two crazy fab girls who really deserve a whole lot more than just the perhaps slightly more negative recount of parenting teens. These girls seriously rock!

No longer babies who require constant nurturing. No longer toddlers who require constant danger avoidance control. No longer pre-teens who require gentle guidance into the daunting teen years. All that constant, let’s be honest, sometimes less than enjoyable parenting, mothering, nagging that seems to go on for an eternity (yes there was quite a lot of that) has suddenly taken a little bit of a backseat because I honestly believe that the major hard work has been done … I can’t change them now … I wouldn’t want to … they have become who they are going to become … and they are, without fail, two of my absolute favourite people to spend time with.

They make me laugh like no one else. Their banter which infuriates me at times (oh my word the banter … that’s a whole other blog!) can also have me spurting out my wine … yes that funny … or coffee … I promise I don’t just drink wine all the time! Their energy and enthusiasm … it’s infectious. Their genuine support and interest … so heartwarming. Their company and their conversation … just so entertaining at times and at other times just so wonderful.

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With teens, the loneliness that parents with younger children sometimes feel, disappears. There is always someone who fancies popping out for lunch, out for shopping, to visit a gallery or go for a coffee and a chat. Always someone who wants to watch a fab chick flick, paint nails, slob on the sofa in pjs … always … or chat for hours about life … and with that means they have truly become my friends. Their opinion really starts to count for something … they’ve got life experience that is of value now … they have begun to see the happiness and, sadly, sometimes sorrow of the world … they can form their own views which are sound and justified … their perspective is fresh … and can be so enlightening.

Of course I miss the baby stages and the toddler stages but there is something so incredibly special about watching your children grow into who they will eventually be … for me, they are so close to adulthood … yet, for them, it still seems so far … but I can see so clearly now who they will be. Of course, I still have to parent occasionally (they may think they’re close to perfect but not always!) … that’s to be expected. However, for now, whilst they are still pre-adulthood it’s more of a supportive parenting role … I guess this will never change …Β and, whilst I question my role as they become more and more independent I can’t help but hope that the coffees and chats will continue … hey, there’s hope that it may even change into wine and chats …

… raising my crazy girls has gone ridiculously quickly but I’ve loved every second (well almost, otherwise my blog would be defunct!) … it’s been a total pleasure … and, looking at them today, I want to thank them for being so much fun … for providing me with just so many wonderful memories (and the ones to come, for sure!) … I am excited for their futures … go live it girls … I’m now looking forward to toasting your successes, toasting your lives, toasting your dreams … there’s a lot of toasting (brilliant!) … you better like champagne … just saying

 

!Keep Calm and Carry On Linking SundayThe Secret Diary of Agent SpitbackCuddle FairyMummuddlingthroughDiary of an imperfect mum

 

 

 

 

 

 

62 thoughts on “Raising My Girls

  1. I loved the line where you said ‘the major hard work’ had been done and you can really enjoy being with these fabulous girls who are between needing you and being independent. Time with children seems to speed by so fast and now you are on the home strait- cherish it all!! Lovely blog- fabulous! πŸ™‚ Lou

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  2. That’s lovely – so great to hear that you enjoy spending time with them . My daughter is two and is very high maintenance at the moment – without wishing the time away I look forward to the relationship you describe

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    1. Oh I can be very soppy sometimes! There is something wonderful about your children reaching near adulthood and genuinely becoming someone you want to chat to and be with … and not just because they are your kids! Thank you for comment lovely x

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  3. My children are still little (5 and 2), but I’ve been feeling a bit sad about moving out of the baby days and into the toddler and ‘big kid’ stages, so this was lovely for me to read. So great to read a post from a parent who is so clearly enjoying one of the later stages of parenting, thank you for reassuring me that there’s still so much good stuff to come! x #KCACOLS

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  4. I love this! It’s easy to focus on the negative (as we all do – it makes for interesting blog posts!), but it’s lovely to read about how much you love your daughters and enjoy their company. We’ve just entered the toddler stage so we have years to go before the teenage years, but I’m looking forward to hanging out with my daughter when she’s older as a friend. #KCACOLS

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    1. Oh thank you so much! It’s nice to occasionally stand back and actually look at the positive too – because, even with teens, there is still lots of positive! Thank you for your comment lovely xx

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  5. aww! this is lovely! I love your blog.. its so relatable! There aren’t too many who blog about the joys and occasional not joys (lol), of having teens, so I honestly open your posts with huge interest! I love what you say about them being great for trips out, lunch, coffee and a good old gossip.. Im so enjoying those times with my teen. Its a whole other parenting journey which as you say is just amazing! Watching who they become as they enter so quickly into the realms of adulthood, which is literally just around the corner, is pretty cool.. I’m loving the journey, and it sounds as though you are too! #kcacols

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    1. ah that’s so kind of you to say! it’s just so important to celebrate the wonderful parts of teens too – it is, as you say, wonderful to watch who they become. Thank you for your comment xx

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  6. What a lovely post. I suppose like most parents I feel daunted by the idea of having teenagers (smelly, grunty and sullen) but this has made me see teenagers in a positive, joyful light. Thank you (although don’t worry too much as the twins are only three) #bigpinklink

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    1. Oh don’t because there really is so much to celebrate! Ha ha enjoy them while they are little and I’m glad I’ve given you hope for the teen years! Thank you for your comment #KCACOLS

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  7. I love this! What a gorgeous tribute to your wonderful girls. Lots and lots of champagne to be drunk and fab memories to be made in the future. It was definitely like this in my family as we all got older our parents firmly became our friends and definitely still are. It’s such a special relationship and I wouldn’t change it for anything. #bigpinklink

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    1. Oh thank you lovely! That’s lovely to hear that you have that relationship with your parents too. So important to see the positive in what can be a tricky stage of having children – can’t be easy for them either sometimes! Thank you so much for your gorgeous comment xx

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  8. Oh what a lovely post to read! My have an 11 year old so i am starting the whole pre-teen journey. I won’t lie, i’m pretty scared by it! You sound like you have a really good relationship with your daughters and have brought them up really well! I only hope i can do the same! I really like the back and white photos too πŸ™‚ Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday

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  9. I am mid-teen stage with my son and pre-teen stage with my daughter. It sure has flown by. You are right they tend to happily share their opinion sometimes unasked for but the ideas and brilliance of those ideas sometimes amaze me. Thank you for sharing your good moments with us! #KCACOLS

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  10. It’s interesting that you think the major hard work has been done – most people would say it’s just beginning! I know what you mean though, all the ground work has been done and there’s not much you can now influence them on or teach them. Time to sit back and support from the sidelines. Obviously in my situation right now, it’s the biggest challenge I’ve ever faced but with my younger daughter we really enjoy coffee and chats too. I hope in the not too distant future, my eldest will want to so that withe me again. And yes, soon it will be wine and chats! Can’t wait!!

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    1. You’re right – it is the ground work – we have something sold to build on so to say. I really feel for your situation at the moment and it breaks my heart tat some teens go through such tough times. I am certain you will be enjoying coffee and chats with her very very soon. Sending hugs xx

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  11. Helen what a beautiful post. I have to admit it got me a little bit emotional. They sound like amazing young women and of course they would be with an amazing mother like yourself. I am enjoying my having small kids (sometimes) but I’m equally looking forward to when parenting will take a step back and I will just be able to enjoy their company and be proud, just like you are, of the amazing young adults they have become. x #bigpinklink

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  12. This is just beautiful!! I have a lump in my throat…! So much pride shining through, for your beautiful, and obviously very talented girls. I’m both envious and in awe of the relationship you have with them. I really want to enjoy parenting toddlers more than I do, and sometimes I almost feel angry and hard done by that it’s so hard that I can’t enjoy it, when I want to be enjoying it, if that makes sense! I also have a huge worry that I’ll definitely end up lonely as a mum parenting teen boys, because they won’t want to come shopping with me, or coffee dates, or visit a spa, or any of the things I did with my mum. I feel like this is sounding like a massive selfish sob story rant now, but I’ve started and all that…! Ever since I had a second boy, the disappointment at never experiencing all the things I had in my head for a daughter, has been tangible. First ballet lesson, going to watch the ballet, shopping for cute outfits, talks about makeup, it’s all stuff I just feel really sad I’ll never do! So I kind of feel like I’ll get all this tough stuff out of the way, and then just be abandoned!! But I do devour posts about mums doing all these lovely things with their daughters, I can at least live it through those!! I’m truly touched by this, it’s so beautiful!!
    #bigpinklink

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    1. oh darling, come have coffee and chats with us … please! But … I do have a gorgeous boy and do you know why lots of my rants about teens aren’t about him? Because he is so so damn easy – boys are – they are beautiful to parent in comparison so just rest assured that you have boys and that they are more loving, more kind and far less dramatic in general – a relationship in the future is whatever you shape it to be and one of my older closest friends has the best relationship with her son – he takes her to gigs and out for dinner every month – it’s purely beautiful – so go shape that relationship into what you want lovely because I will be with my boy too – stuff any stereotypical mother daughter relationships as being the best! Thank you for your lovely comment though xx

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  13. Ah beautiful Helen. You sound like you have such a wonderful relationship with your girls. The sort I hope to cultivate with my children and reading this makes me so excited for the future as well as really grateful for the lovely times I have now with my son. I was thinking about you and yours yesterday as my son and I sat chatting (as only 3 year olds can, randomly!) in a coffee shop – him with a babycinno and a ring of chocolate sprinkles from forehead down his cheeks to his milk tache and me with a tea – and I thought how I couldn’t be happier and I can’t wait to do that as he grows for chats or rants or silence, whatever. And who knows what my girl will be like…all this to come and I can’t wait! #ablogginggoodtime

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    1. Oh Lucy you so will – I can tell in the way you write – your way with words – you’ll have that relationship for sure – but not just with your daughter – so many feel this is a mother of daughter exclusive – it isn’t as I know I’ll have just the same with my son – special times just with them – listening to their take on the world and their hopes and dreams,. It is about listening and being there and being empathic and not judgmental – you’ll have that with both of your too for sure xx

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  14. As mum to two littlies I constantly chastise myself for not obsessively cherishing every minute of every day as everyone keeps telling me that I’ll look back and wish I could turn back the clock. This is so refreshing and brilliant to read as it promises such great adventures still to come. I don’t want to wish my little ones’ time away of course, but I’m very much looking forward to the day when we can go out for coffee together. Beautiful post x
    #coolmumclub

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  15. It’s lovely to see the relationship you have with your girls. I love that you said the loneliness has gone because there’s always someone who wants to pop to the shops, etc. I had that with my mum when I was a teenager, and I hope I can replicate it again when my girls get old enough. This is such a positive spin on parenting teenagers (it sometimes feels like whatever stage you’re at, everyone around says “just wait until they’re crawling” or “just wait until they’re climbing” or “just wait until they can talk back” or “just wait until they’re teenagers”). In my experience so far, every stage has it’s joys and it’s trials. #ablogginggoodtime

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  16. Ah Helen, this is so lovely. As a Mum of two daughters aged 4 and 18 months, I’m at that very dependent stage – I already feel the wind of change blowing as school approaches, and it’s helping me to cherish these long days at home. That said, I always hold on to a vision of the future when times are tough – two friends I can go lunching with, have spa weekends, take to New York…all those things I dream of doing. Congratulations – you did something right and I can only hope my relationship with the girls ends up as gorgeous as yours.
    Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub – can#t wait to hang out on Saturday! You can give me the secret formula xxx

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    1. Oh thank you for such a lovey comment! You are in that dependent stage and it really is a beautiful time but if we can focus on the wonderful stages of being teens and nurture those relationships then the rewards are huge – I love it! Can’t wait to hang out Saturday (eeek tomorrow!!) xx

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  17. Oh this is so beautiful. I have a 2 year old girl and I hope and pray I have this sort of relationship with her when she’s older. I want to be the mum who she wants to go for coffee with, to a movie, I want to be her friend as well as her mum. The relationship you have with your daughters is so beautiful #ablogginggoodtime

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    1. Oh thank you so much for saying and I’m sure you will – it’s wonderful and so lovely to stand back and appreciate the good points of having teens – it can’t be easy being a teen – and sometimes mine do get a raw deal in my blogs – hey they aren’t perfect all the time!! Thank you so much for your gorgeous gorgeous comment xx

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  18. It was soooooo lovely to see you at BML16, Helen. And, oh, I love this post so much. You’re giving me a taste of what’s to come. It made me want to run upstairs and kiss my beautiful girls, 13 and 9. Every day just gets better, their company, their humour, their different personalities. How blessed we are. Your girls are so beautiful – it sounds like they have beautiful hearts too.

    I took Beth to a health club with spa facilities on an inset day the other week and we chattered away in the sauna and steam room together. It’s so lovely to do things like that. Youngest makes me laugh so much…

    I’m getting a lump in my throat so I am stopping now!! #Fortheloveofblog.

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  19. Such a beautiful post and I love that you have such a wonderful close bond with your girls as they are growing up – those coffee and chats and sitting in PJs watching chick flicks sound like such priceless moments. I’ve just had a lovely few days with my mum visiting and your post made me think of taking her back yesterday and sitting in her house with her and two of my sisters all having the biggest giggle together – that bond that you describe having with your girls and the laughs you have together are still there in my relationship with my mum. Hopefully you will have all that to look forward to too! #coolmumclub

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  20. Having met you I can now hear you saying this. You are as equally gorgeous inside and out in person as you come across in this article. I think you are a wonderful mother and how much you are there and do for all your children is amazing. This article is a little sad but wonderful at the same time. You have so many gorgeous experiences to come and raise a champagne glass too – i’ll be here holding one up to you… always!

    Thanks for linking to #ablogginggoodtime #triballove

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    1. Aww Katie thank you – your comment has made me tearful – you really are the kindest person. I adore them and they make me laugh so much but can be equally as infuriating! Thank you for such a gorgeous comment xx

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