Losing My Boy To The Teenage Years

So, on the soon to be eve of my son turning 13 and entering the zone of what is known as the teenage years … where he enters a boy and is meant to exit at 18 years of age a man … I’m freaking out here … totally and utterly … I adore the 12-year-old that he is … love the fact that he is still a boy … love his 12-year-old humour that is shaping to be very funny … love the fact that he still loves a hug … not too embarrassed to have his hair ruffled … and still tells me he loves me everyday … and let’s be honest … at 18 he won’t be this boy and I really am quite ridiculously fond of him being this boy … my boy … and I’m not quite sure how I feel about him being a man.

Those 5 or 6 years of teendom (hmm not sure a word but I like the sound of it) for a boy I equate to something like entering a long black scary tunnel that a whole load of shit stuff happens that I’m not sure I’m going to love … and then, at the end, he will literally be spat out all man-shaped … all youth gone … and that, quite frankly, terrifies me … I quite like the boy stage!

I’m not stupid, I’m well aware that the tunnel is very much a euphemism for my fear … and, hey, at least I admit I’m fearful. My girls are in their prime of teenagerism (there really are not enough words in the Oxford Dictionary that I consider aptly describe the state that is that of being a teenager) at 14 and 16 … trust me, they really are … and I’m coping with them just about! I was a teenage girl once and I guess they aren’t throwing anything new at me … but having a son is a whole new territory … I didn’t even have a brother … just cousins, oh and a couple of boyfriends … and those stories aren’t pleasant enough for me to make my son entering the teen tunnel any easier to contemplate … and no there won’t be any blogs soon about my teenage years … I was an angel … though, perhaps I should reflect over my teen years and consider some writing material … anyway, I’m digressing … I’ll leave that for a totally different blog!

So, to my boy, my darling boy, I guess what I’d like to say is have fun, go enjoy the journey … lots … throw yourself into experiences that will make you so much richer as a person, listen to people, learn from people, observe life too … I’ll be here if you need me. I’m a little scared but super proud of who you are at 12 and hope that at 18 your humour will still make me laugh, you will still tell me you love me and you won’t mind the odd hair ruffle, even if you’ll be 6ft and all man-shaped … and that my 12-year-old boy, who I really am rather ridiculously fond of,  won’t be too lost, too unrecognisable  … just saying.

 

This post was first published at Meet Other Mums

A Cornish Mum

 

Mummuddlingthrough

Diary of an imperfect mum
The Pramshed

53 thoughts on “Losing My Boy To The Teenage Years

  1. Oh god Helen you made me cry!!! I loved this sooooo much. I feel every single word you wrote and mine are only tweens. The teenage part scares me rigid, I’ll be asking you questions constantly, will you be my guru??? Please! Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime 🎉

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    1. Aww thank you lovely – it’s a side of raising boys which is hard for a mummy. Please, please come ask questions – i’ll try my hardest to find the right answer hopefully. Thank you for having me! xx

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  2. Happy Birthday to your boy! I hated my own teen years – I cant imagine how much harder it must be for teens today! I don’t even want to think of my 4 year old son reaching them 😦 Sorry, I know that’s not very supportive! #ablogginggoodtime

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    1. Oh thank you! I think if we reflect on our own teen years it will make us better parents – even if we do totally dread it! If I’m still blogging when he comes through I’ll let you know how it goes – eek! Thank you for your comment xx

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  3. Oh this made me weep. I’m just clinging on to my boy being a boy but every day I keep seeing shades of the man he will become all too soon. I will of course be totally proud of the man he will be but I’m just not ready to let go. It all goes far too fast doesn’t it? #ablogginggoodtime

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    1. Oh. Fi, sorry for making you weep! I’m not ready either and I just keep waiting for the whole stage to hit – some say they go to be a boy and literally wake up one day grunting at everything – so not looking forward to that! Will undoubtedly blog about it but hopefully it will be sooth running – don’t think I can cope with anything else! Thank you for your comment xx

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  4. Oh Helen all your children are so gorgeous! There is not an ugly gene to be seen! Anyway my teenage boy is definitely a man and there have been some tough bits (particularly recently unfortunately) but otherwise he is a 6ft 2, handsome and witty young man who still tells me he loves me every day, so take heart – boys and their mums – it is really special believe me. #coolmumclub

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    1. Aww you are so so kind – thank you! Oh wow you are there with the man-shaped son – eek! Oh no to the tough bits – hope they resolve soon. Oh its not easy being a parent sometimes is it?! Is it an issue I can discuss with my teen expert that I vlog with? Let me know xx Thank you so much for your lovely comment xx

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  5. The teen years can be so hard, but they’re such a great time of discovery as well. I’m sure your son will have a great time experiencing all that teen-hood has to offer, though he may go through a grunting stage (my brother communicated with the family solely through grunts during several of his teen years.) #ablogginggoodtime

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  6. This is so lovely! Like you, I had no experience of boys apart from friends and then had 4 girls! So I love hearing about my friends’ boys who are becoming teenagers. You are right that at 12 they are so completely different to how they are at 14, 15, 16… I can see this from my friends’ sons and my nephew. I wonder if it really will be as scary as you think it will be. Maybe his tunnel will be full of light! It will certainly be an interesting journey and I’m sure we will be on it with you through your blogs! Alison x #ablogginggoodtime

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    1. wow to 4 girls! Thank you for your positivity around the tunnel of light – aww I really hope so too – and yes, you’re bound to hear through my blog! Let’s hope my journey of raising my son to be a gentleman has no massive hiccups on the way! thanks you, once again, for commenting xx

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  7. Oh Helen, this is beautiful. You know what, I think there is every chance he will have all of those qualities even after becoming a fully grown man! I think my brother was a much easier teenager than me and my sisters so perhaps it will be a breeze!! Hope he has a fabulous birthday and you remember how much wonderful stuff there still is to come! #ablogginggoodtime

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    1. Aww thank you gorgeous one! I really hope it’s pain free – he’s been so ridiculously easy up until now so fingers crossed it will be a breeze! Thank you for your lovely comment, as always xx

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  8. Aww this made me shed a tear. I can see he’s going to be a gorgeous man-shaped creature who loves you just as much as he does now. And keep on ruffling his hair – especially when he has just combed it! #Blogginggoodtime

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  9. I have two boys and one is a teenager and so far, we’ve only had a few mishaps. He starts high school next month and I’m still not ready for it but it’s upon me and I have to find my way through this. I did have brothers and they weren’t fun to be around most of the time. However, my son is pretty awesome and almost always happy so we might just make it through these teenage years unscathed, LOL! My younger son is another issue entirely though. He’s too much like me for the teenage years to not become an issue when he’s there but he’s only 9 so I have a few years before I lose my baby boy to the teenage years. I’m soaking up while I can! Love your post! #ablogginggoodtime

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    1. Aww thank you for such a gorgeous comment! Yay to your eldest being awesome – let’s hope you make it through unscathed with him – that’s what I’m hoping for too! Ha ha re the younger one – you just know don’t you?! Thank you for commenting lovely xx

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  10. Oh Helen, this is so lovely – I have tears in my eyes!! This is everything I feel about my stepson, who will be 13 in October. THIRTEEN?!? I remember when I first met him aged 4 and he has magically grown infront of my very eyes. I know what you mean about enjoying the ‘boy’ stage when they don’t get embarrassed and quite like cuddles still…hope he has an awesome birthday and many more years of wonderfulness to come I’m sure xxx #ablogginggoodtime

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  11. I have a son and he is 6 and yet this post hits close to home! Time flies when you are a parent and I have a feeling that in a blink of an eye I am going to write something like this! I will enjoy the moments with my son while it last and will treasure our time together before he becomes a teen! #ablogginggoodtime

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    1. It really does doesn’t it?! I’m just hoping that after the teen years I’ll be able to say ‘oh it was fine!’ Enjoy your little boy and thank you so so much for taking the time to read and comment xx

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  12. I think 13 is probably still okay in terms of teenism. From my experience with my brother it’s really 14 onwards that you need to worry about. (Although saying that my little brother had attitude from 8 so maybe don’t listen to my advice….) haha lovely post though. I wish children didn’t have to grow up and stay little forever but then we would be overrun with toddlers wouldn’t we? Though our politics might be in a better state… Lucy xx #triballove

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    1. aww I may have another year – woohoo! And then slam you mention your other brother! I adore the idea of toddler take over – and you’re so right about the politics! thank you for another one of your gorgeous comments xx

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  13. Lovely post. I have two teens and two preteens. I got such a shock when I realised my teen son’s legs had morphed into hairy man legs when he wore some shorts for the first time earlier this year.. I would love to pause my pre teen son so he stays just as he is for an extra year or two.. but it’s not going happen so I am just going to enjoy the moment. #ablogginggoodtime

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  14. Beautiful. I always imagine a Mother and Sons journey in that one day you are hugging him, and in time he’ll outgrow you, leaving you like a child in his embrace. Must be a strange but lovely thing that a Mum of girl will never experience.
    Happy Birthday xxx
    Thanks for linking to #coolmumclub Helen

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  15. Oh Helen, this is lovely. Funny there is only a couple of days between our son’s birthdays. I can imagine that one day I will be feeling exactly the same way but I feel better knowing that I can always come back to you for sound advice on how to deal with my teenagers (only 9 years to go). I doubt that the change will be sudden and I’m sure he will love you as much at 18 as he does now at 12. My nan always said we shouldn’t fear time passing because only then we can fully appreciate life. Happy birthday to him and congratulations to you for being Mum. x #ablogginggoodtime

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  16. Oh that made me feel all emotional. It made me want to go cling to my one year old so tightly. What a journey he and you are about to embark on, but with you in his corner he will no doubt do just fine, everyone needs their mum, even teenage man boys. Xx #ablogginggoodtime

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  17. Oh I can imagine this must be so hard and those 13 years must have flown by for you! I’m sure you’ll love the new person he becomes just as much, it’s a new chapter for both of you! Hope he has a happy birthday 🙂 #fortheloveofBLOG

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  18. Aww this is a lovely post Helen. So much happens during the teen years and you really do change so much in that short time. I am sure though that your boy will always love you, you are his mum after all and a brilliant one at that. Is it a bit ridiculous though that this post has got me worrying about my 3 year old becoming a man?!I’m sure the time will fly by and it won’t be long and I’ll be feeling exactly the same as you xx #fortheloveofBLOG

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  19. Oh this made me cry. Such a lovely post, full of love and affection for your son and your family. Time does seem to be speeding up at a dizzying rate and it makes you nostalgic for the early days. I am not even at your stage but when I am…..I will be a mess. I hope that instead of being a mess, that I write wonderful posts like this. Lovely post 🙂 xxxx

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    1. Oh thank you, lovely – I just feel a little unsure of what he will become – it’s a bizarre feeling of not knowing – I feel I know with the girls but seems so different with a boy! Thank you for your lovely comment xx

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  20. Awww Helen, it’s only natural to feel this way. No longer a baby. He will always come home to his Mummy. Just be there for him which I’m sure you will be X #triballove

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  21. He is so beautiful your description brought a tear to my eye! As his is mummy, you amazing woman you, he will sail through teendom well because he has such a loving empathetic mummy…I cried last night as mine has 4 days left in reception class! Much love lady #ablogginggoodtime

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