Partial to a glass of wine? Only attend the PTA so that you can get that free glass of wine and actually talk to adults instead of children? Cook a really quick and easy dinner night after night because you’ve been too busy on Instagram or your blog or whatever else takes your fancy other than cooking a wholesome meal? And secretly hoping that if you delay cooking dinner maybe, just maybe, someone else will start cooking! Never help with homework because it’s set for your child and not you? Keep hitting that snooze button in the morning whilst dreaming that your children will get themselves up and ready for school? Friday hair just a week long mess of dry shampoo and self-moulds itself into a mum bun?
So, if you answered yes to one of these questions does that make you a bad mum? Does that make you one of those mums that is unfit for parenting? One of those parents that is getting such negative press at the moment for being deemed part of the bad mum culture? Of course not!
What is this bad mum culture craze all about? We can’t all be PTA virtuous parents who seem to definitely have double the amount of hours in the day to produce perfectly turned out children, with awesome homework projects, healthy scrumptious meals on the table of an evening with their perfectly manicured nails and their tiny yoga workout hips.
I sound bitter. I’m not. I’m trying my damnedest to be the best bad parent I can. Yes you read that right. That’s my new goal. OK, I admit that isn’t how I used to be but, and I hate to admit this, my husband has raised some good points over the years. His way of parenting, which I must point out here, is brilliant but can at times frustrate the pants off of me, coupled with having watched the movie Bad Moms this week, has got me thinking.
There’s a scene in Bad Moms that highlights a bad mum as someone who doesn’t do their kids’ homework project so that they, hang on shock horror, have to do it themselves and doesn’t get their breakfast ready so they have to, again shock horror, make it themselves. How could they? How could they let their children fend for themselves? My husband couldn’t praise the main character enough for this. He has always had this approach to parenting and I, strongly and increasingly, think he has a really good point. Actually, Mila Kunis, the character in question, also happens to be one of the hottest mums out there. My husband may have been a little swayed by her beauty so his opinion may not be unbiased here!
But let’s think about this for a moment. Isn’t it better that we equip our children with the skills to fend for themselves? How are we going to make them independent capable adults if we do everything for them? I’m not saying neglect them but not do everything for them. We all know the mums we are talking about who snowplough parent and move everything of upset out of the path of their child. Yes, it’s tempting but how do they learn? Again, husband has a point!
So, the bad mum culture that seems to have hit lately actually needs to be given more credit. Bad mums I salute you and so should many others. I, however, may have left it too late, if I’m brutally honest. I don’t find this whole bad mum approach and culture hugely easy. I like a manicured nail, I even love a blow dry. I love a little getting involved in homework, or the making them do it more to the point, I adore cooking. But, not all is lost on my journey to being a bad mum, I love wine and am obsessed with dry shampoo. I’m working on it! Oh and I adore a lie-in. Right, kids you’re doing your own breakfast tomorrow! Does that count? Hope so … just saying.