It’s Still My Time Too

For those of you who have followed my blog for a while, you will be aware that one of my daughters is in the world of modelling and acting. This, of course, fills me with immense pride but no more than my other daughter’s achievements, or my son’s. They, however, are less impressed with my airing their news all over social media and I respect that. Even if I am itching to write all the emotions I feel for them too but, it suffices to say, that isn’t happening!

So, a while back, when daughter number one was embarking on this exciting path, I wrote a post about it being her time now and how I was having to learn to step back and start to let go. It wasn’t easy. There were all the emotions going on. Pride, yes of course, but so much more than that. The experience of your children not needing you so much definitely causes an explosion of feelings. More than anything, I was left with a sentiment that it was her time and that no longer did my personal dreams and goals mean anything, or even matter. I know! Crazy! But the power of that emotion was prevalent for a while. Who would remotely be interested in the mum of the model? Who even was she? Well, I couldn’t even answer that question so I’m not sure how anyone else could!

Fast forward a year and things couldn’t be more different. Hallelujah and all the joys because that feeling of my time having passed wasn’t pleasant for anyone and was downright ridiculous. I can see that now. These feelings weren’t woe is me but more a thinking that maybe my dreams should be popped away for now. Again, ridiculous! There is nothing that says you become too old to have dreams, that if you haven’t achieved them by a certain age then “sorry, love, your time has passed!”

This last week has been London Fashion Week. What an incredible week! Yes, my daughter is more than capable of going to castings on her own and organising her own life but do you know just how much fun it is to share that with her? Model spotting together, we’ve become experts. Though, in all fairness, they are all dressed in black, very tall, very skinny and very beautiful so not that difficult to spot, in reality.  Oh, and the top trend tip for this season is most definitely fishnet tights under ripped jeans! I’m so tempted!

To be there with encouragement and support, to sit in a cafe after castings to catch up and boost her confidence, to sit there and see her positively glowing from the rush of it all is what my role is in all this. I have got a role. It’s this role!

Finding a gorgeous little coffee shop, tucked away in the back streets of London, away from the hustle and bustle, sipping on an Americano and writing a post all whilst being close by if my daughter needs me feels pretty much like my idea of living the dream. Both hers and mine. So, damn right it’s still my time too … just saying!

 

  1. Of course it’s it still your time and I bet your daughter is so glad she has her beautiful mama by her side to share it with xxx You obviously have a wonderful relationship I really hope me and my daughter have such a close bong when she gets bigger xxx lovely post

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  2. Absolutely it’s your time Helen and you are fulfilling such an important role by supporting her. On the other hand, could you consider modelling yourself? You have such a fantastic sense of style and look amazing in photos. You could even start your own clothing brand. ‘Just Saying Mum Threads’. Now there’s a business concept – my imagination has gone into overdrive! XX

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  3. That’s so lovely that you are there to support your daughter, she must be so glad you’re there for her! And how exciting to be model spotting at fashion week, maybe one day other Mum/daughter duos will be spotting your daughter!

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  4. I think that it’s wonderful to share in our children’s successes. One of my daughters plays football for Millwall and I never get to see her play a match, because I am working. I’ve told her that when she plays football or cricket for England, I’ll retire and follow her around the world! I can completely appreciate your thrill at being a part of your daughter’s world, albeit in the background. Alison x #MarvMondays

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    1. Oh amazing for your daughter! My feelings are more that I can also live my dreams and not just hers – that is so important too as our children get older! Aww I wish your daughter every success lovely!! xx

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      1. Yes, absolutely! I think it’s really important for our kids to see that we still have dreams and aspirations beyond them. I think this takes the pressure off them a little and also inspires them. Alison x #BigPinkLink

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  5. Peachy is 14 months old so my life pretty much revolves around her. I am completely consumed by my love for her and everything else is on the sidelines. It has occured to me that as Peachy grows she will need me less and if I give up who I am I will end up empty one day. But you know what, I’m still in here. I’m still me even though my life revolves around her right now. I still have dreams and they still matter. They are simply on the back burner until I’m ready to turn up the heat on them again. The mother-child relationship is one that changes over time but we never stop being mothers and our children never stop needing us. We just adjust the temperature on different pots as is required. #MarvMondays

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  6. How wonderful that you have found a really meaningful role in all of this. Taking a big enough step back to let her grow but being close enough to catch her if she needs you must be a hard balance to find. I think she seems to be doing a great job and so do you. Everyone must start somewhere and it is hard to imagine her path would be as smooth or as rewarding without the love and support right there behind her. Don’t underestimate what you do. But no, it is never too late for your own dreams too.
    #BigPinkLink

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    1. Oh thank you for such a thoughtful comment. It is hard to find the balance but, finally, I feel that I am there with it – last year definitely not! Thank you for sharing this post also my lovely xx

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  7. What a lovely post, yes I agree you are never too old to have dreams of your own. To see your child happy and acheiving her dreams must be amazing, and to be able to share in them is fantastic! This to me whilst I am knee high in nappies, whinging, and tantruming toddlers is my hope, that I raise 2 happy boys who are able to follow their dreams and I can support them by their side if they need me xx #bigpinklink

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  8. What a wonderful thing you get to share with your daughter! My mum and I spent my teenage years not getting on too well – not fighting but not friends either. We’re closer now I’ve had my son, but we’re not as close as you and your daughter. I hope I can have this sort of relationship with my kids one day! #marvmondays

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  9. Ahh Helen, it certainly is your time too! Your daughter looked absolutely stunning on the catwalk, she is just breathtakingly beautiful – just like her Mummy! I was in tears over your Instagram photos, just because I can imagine how proud you are, you must want to shout it from the rooftops!! #MarvMondays

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    1. oh thank you for your beautiful heartfelt comment – really thank you – so kind of you. Aww I’m glad you saw the pictures on instagram – please remind me of your instagram name? It was definitely a moment of all the emotions for sure! xxx

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  10. You keep on dreaming and fulfilling them, there is no better way to role model for your teens! I decided to follow my dream to become a writer full time, some thought I was crazy but I’ve never understood the “you’re too late” idea of dreams. #bigpinklink

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  11. What a beautifully heartfelt post written by a Mum who is obviously just so proud of her daughter and her achievements. Even though my children are younger, I’ve still had those moments of thinking, but what about me, nobody even asks how I am anymore. But you’re so right to enjoy the mindfulness, to be there for your child, and to enjoy sharing it all with her. No need to feel like a spectator but be involved when she wants you to be. Loved this post, especially as a mother of two daughters. #bigpinklink

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    1. Oh I’m glad you enjoyed it and thank you for your lovely comment! Yes, of course I’m proud but it is also more than that – in that through finding coffee shops and sitting and writing I’m also doing something for me – that is so important too but being there for her if she needs me. the balancing act is hard sometimes!! Thank you so much for your lovely comment xx

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  12. You’re quite right…there is absolutely no reason why we can’t enjoy our children’s successes with them and feel part of it, we made them after all, we need to take some credit! My son is a violinist and as I too played violin as a child I was able to help him practice which enabled him to progress quite quickly. Now, at the age of 12, he has surpassed my abilities and I am no longer spending hours on end listening and critiquing his practice. I can however enjoy his success, take him to exams and listen to him play in concerts and take a little bit of credit for his success! #postsfromtheheart

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  13. Lovely that you support her but that you’ve realised your life is still important! You’ve been doing loads of great ‘blog’ work recently so you must be feeling inspired by your new experiences. I love sitting in a cafe with a drink and writing on my laptop. I am very envious 😉 #MarvMondays

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  14. I remember reading that post and how that struck such a chord with me. Your post is spot on as our roles change when my children become more independent. I love how you take everything in your stride and how you have found your role. It is definitely your time, it has always been your time. Thanks for sharing with #bigpinklink

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    1. Oh I remember your comment on that post too – I knew that you completely understood where I was coming from! Oh thank goodness I’ve changed that perspective!! Thank you for your lovely comment xx

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  15. I love this! I love all your writing, but I really love this one. We’re all entitled to whatever our emotions are in the moment, and however ridiculous they may be.
    And you seem to be living the dream … coffee, in London, with your grown-up daughter. Heaven. Soak it up.
    #familyfun

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    1. Oh thank you so much That’s so kind of you to say. It’s definitely that writing in coffee shops that is more the living the dream but the coffee is nice and the chats with my daughter a bonus but nice to have my role in all of this too! Thank you so much for your lovely words xx

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  16. I imagine it’s a really tricky part of parenting- but obviously the aim of all of us to teach them to be independent. You’ve obviously done an amazing job – and of course it’s your time now 😊

    #familyfun

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    1. Yes, you’re so right – the letting go, the finding your own role, still being yourself and not living your life through your children – it all takes some careful consideration and balancing for sure! thank you for your comment xx

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  17. This was a lovely read. Sharing your lives now that your daughter is older just shows the special bond between you – it’s both of your times now, and what makes it more special is that now she is choosing to share her life with you. #BloggerClubUK

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  18. Your original post has stayed with me since I first read it, and I loved it, but I love this even more. I have such respect and admiration for the brilliant relationship that you have with your teens, and I can only hope that I get to enjoy the same with my two as they get older, You deserve to share in, and celebrate your daughter’s success and you should be so incredibly proud. This is absolutely your time and grasping it only makes you more of a role model to your children. Thanks for sharing with #DreamTeam x

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    1. Oh thank you so so much! So kind of you to say. I’m sure you will. It’s wonderful to reach that stage in life where you spend time with your children doing something you both enjoy – oh and thank goodness I’ve got some perspective on it now! xx

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  19. Definitely your time too. It actually sounds really nice. My kids are so young, I can’t even imagine them as teens and doing this sort of thing!

    #FamilyFun

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  20. I love following you on Instagram and where you are going to be next. Which cafe you have found to sit in and hear about the wonder world your daughter lives in. It says a lot about your relationship that she wants to share these moments with you and I would definitely be grabbing those moments with both hands. I really hope I have the same relationship with my daughters as they grow up. x #bloggerclubuk

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  21. The relationship you have with your daughter is so beautiful. It is so lovely that she wants to share her experiences with you and I love that you appreciate that sometimes she wants to go it alone. I totally love the idea of fishnets under ripped jeans but id end up looking like a fat hooker if i even tried this look out! hahahaha #PostsFromTheHeart

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    1. Oh I am lucky that she still wants me to share in her experiences – due to the nature of that world I just want to be close by to be supportive! Ha ha ha to the fashions statement – surely not!!

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  22. Absolutely it’s still your time too! I wish I could say it with the same conviction about myself. I think it is a side effect of having children I think you can’t help but feel it is about them. Although everything you say here is spot on and it is quite ridiculous to push ourselves to the side. Still, what a side line – at London fashion week ha! Thanks for sharing at #familyfun xx

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  23. What a wonderful relationship you and your daughter have. Your support and encouragement of your daughter in what I can imagine is a tricky business to be part of is to be applauded. Like you said, taking a step back is hard but you know you need to do this to help them flourish, I have two girls and my youngest who is 5 has decided she doesn’t me to help her settle in at school in the morning, she leave s me with a passing goodbye and runs in more than happy. First of all I felt redundant but then I realised she now feels confident to take her steps. #BloggerClubUK

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    1. Thank you for your lovely comment. Oh those steps to independence do start young and we have to learn to grow with them – it’s hard though sometimes but you’re right to turn the situation around and accept that she had found the confidence to take her steps in life. Oh the tugging on heartstrings of being a parent! xx

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  24. Of course it is still your time! It is so lovely that your daughter wants you to experience this all with her and be there for support. Sitting in a cafe drinking coffee and writing while still being there for my kids sounds like a dream come true to me too!xx #coolmumclub

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  25. Ahh Helen I’m so glad you’ve realised it’s still your time too!! And I bet Georgia absolutely loves having you along with her for support and just to enjoy the ride – I know I love sharing things with my mum! It’s so exciting for you all and all your kids are lucky to have such supportive parents #FamilyFun

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  26. Totally get where your coming from. My life has gone so fast and now I’m in my 40s there are so many things I now feel I am able to do. I am always putting my children first and feel so guilty about having less time for them right now but I am also panicking that I’m not getting any younger too!
    Love the idea of fishnets under ripped jeans, although my wrinkly knees might not be up for exposure!

    Great post again!
    #coolmumclub

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    1. Oh I know that you totally understand where I am coming from – life and perspective really changes as they become teens doesn’t it? Oh i’m sure we could strategically place the rips to be somewhere other than knees now that we are in our forties! Thank you for your comment xx

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  27. Hurray!! I bet your daughter loves being able to share all of these experiences with you, and it’s fab that you have a joint love that you can enjoy together #ablogginggoodtime

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  28. I think I felt like that a lot when they were little, its all about them. I forgot I mattered and my dreams were more than just being a mum. Being a mum is a dream come true, but I am so many more things. We deserve to shine, and follow our dreams. Well done you! Fab Post! #BlogCrush

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  29. This is such a lovely post. We’ve 3 teens here too and them choosing to share their new experiences with mum is the best thing!! #fortheloveofBLOG

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  30. What a truly beautiful post. I remember when I was around the same age my mum feeling very similar and me saying to her what I am going to say to you. Your dreams matter. It is never to late to follow them, find them, and discover new ones. My mum was always in my corner – still is – and I love nothing more than sharing my day with her. But I also want more than that for her. I want her to chase her dreams because she deserves them and so do you. I love reading your posts so much, as you know I’m nervous about mine becoming teenagers but if I can be half as good as you are are bringing them up, I will be one very happy lady indeed. Sending loving and thanks for linking up with #PostsFromTheHeart

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    1. Oh thank you so much for such a wonderful and kind comment. Your mother had the most perfect advice and we should all stand by her words too. You’re right, you still want her to chase her dreams too – absolutely. Thank you for hosting such a beautiful linky – some truly gorgeous posts I’ve read this week xx

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  31. It’s so cool that you are still involved and on the “journey” (sorry – hate that word!) with her. Enjoy every moment. So wonderful you have such a lovely relationship. Hope my daughter and I have something like this when she’s your daughter’s age xx #DreamTeam

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  32. It is lovely that you are both enjoying what you are doing and spending time together. I hope when Booey is older we still have a lovely relationship like this.
    #fortheloveofBLOG

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  33. I think that’s very important – just because they CAN do it on their own, doesn’t mean they should do it on their own. 99% of the time, you’re unnecessary but you must be there for that 1%. And the shared experience to and from the bookings is the everso important quantity time that’s now missing from our young people’s lives. As for fishnets under jeans, that sounds uncomfortable…#FortheloveofBLOG

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  34. It is absolutely your time too!!! I think it is brilliant that you are in this together. Oh and that coffee and writing a blog post sounds like heaven! x

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