OK, so not just me. That would be seriously strange. But I am talking about my little part of that world. I was a child many decades ago. Growing up, when I did, during a time without technology. I remember sitting in class with my best friend, Emma, laughing at my teacher, Mr Iddon, when I was eight-years-old. He was telling us that one day we would be able to do our grocery shopping from home and that it would be delivered to our door.The very next day. Oh, how we laughed. How did he know?
I remember my father coming home with our first VCR. I remember my first cassette player. My first Now 5 album. On tape. There were not computers. I wrote letters to friends. With actual pen and paper. I got my first mobile phone at 22 years of age and I remember my husband, my then boyfriend, saying that text messages would never catch on!
What did you do? I hear you cry. Well, we didn’t spend all day looking at phones, that’s for sure. Oh, I’ve made up for that, though. My children will happily confirm this. So do I lust after years gone by when things were simpler? Do I crave a slower pace of life, waiting a week for a letter to arrive as opposed to the instant response of an email? No way. Not at all!
I’ve embraced social media head on. Lapped up all it can give me. The blogging world has consumed me. I’m social media’s doting daughter. OK, maybe proud mother if we are talking age here! So why then do I still get that gut-wrenching fear when I post sometimes? Why do I lay there at night and worry about what I’ve shared? I’ll be honest and I think that this may surprise a few but I’m actually quite a private person. I know. Hilarious, right? But, I am. My friends will vouch for that. I am one that will never tell what is bothering me until the worry is over. I don’t share and share every woe and concern. I deal with things internally. But, blogging, well that’s a whole different story. Though, I probably internally self-edit the material I write. There’s definitely some degree of preservation going on!
So why the fear? What causes that fear? It’s definitely there. It’s real enough where I have moments of thinking that I’m going to delete every word I’ve written, every picture I’ve posted. Go back to a slower pace of life that is not so dictated by sharing and engaging with thousands of people on a daily basis about every thought, fear, and emotion. Maybe it’s because I didn’t grow up in this world. It’s new to me and whilst I thrive on it, it’s not what I came from.
Maybe the generations that know no different are free of such questioning. I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing. I feel that the questioning helps pop a balance on things and maybe sometimes even a degree of much needed decorum. Not that I’m saying they don’t have that questioning or moral ability but there’s definitely a domination of less than moralistic values being posted out there.
Am I alone? Have you wanted to recoil and switch off from it all and wrap yourself up in the unit of your family? Just wanted to shut that front door and let it just be you and your closest? It’s not just me is it? Right, that’s enough procrastinating! Where’s my phone? What’s happening on Instagram? Just saying!